Stop pretending.

Hello women in perimenopause. I feel you out there. You are struggling through your days, your wake-ups. You don’t know what to do to change anything, so you plod along and just keep going, head down, plugging away.

You are trying to figure out how to make changes to “get through”. How to get through the day, how to get through the week. You hit the weekend and you wish desperately for just another minute to yourself. You just want things to slow down. You just…you just…

I see you and I hear you. I am like you. There is another way. There’s another way to move through all of these emotions, physical changes with more lightness, more support, more power. There’s a way to feel better in each moment, to not feel so drained or spun out, like you are on a treadmill with someone else on the controls who just won’t let you stop.

This way offers a bright light bulb of inspiration above your head and a deep ahhh in your body. Your symptoms won’t go away. But you will change your relationship to them.

You are going to hear this, read what I offer, look at my version of an instructional tarot-slash-RPG card and you are going to push it all away. You are going to say, “I don’t understand that. That makes no sense, it’s too weird. This isn’t for a highly-functioning, career woman in a power suit that is trying to be successful! This is kid’s stuff. Slacker stuff. It’s for someone that doesn’t have a purpose or a goal in life.”

You will think that. And, you will be wrong.

Dalí said something along the lines of, one day we will all wake up and realize that the dream was actually the reality.

He was on to something. And you’ll instinctively want to push that away, too. But in your bones, you will feel how he was right.

All the times you thought, “who made up this rule, it makes no sense,” “all these hoops I have to jump through to do this thing, it’s crazy,” “That’s so counterintuitive, ridiculous.” All the times you were told something that was supposed to be fact and you wanted to counter with, “Say’s WHO?!”

Someone once made up those rules, that structure and people started believing it, followed it. You can make up your own rules based on what you know now. You can create your own reality. And you already know how to do this! You went to school, chose a major, honed skills, used it to make money. Same energy, different road map.

Who says you are headed to an ending with menopause? Who says you just have to manage symptoms and “get through it?” Who says you have to find ways back to your baseline? Why? You are already feeling this, I’m just naming it. Why is it “get back?” Why would I want to “get back?” I want to move forward and I think you do, too.

There is no baseline anymore! That has all changed. It’s time to acknowledge and accept that and all the power that comes along with it.

You’ll want to dismiss that, too. “Oh, she’s going back to the language that is just to woo-woo for me.” And then you’ll sink back into, “I’m just too old to play games.” Too vanilla. Too successful. Have too many bills, too many responsibilities. “I have a career for goodness sake!”

So, tell me, do you have an astrology app on your phone? Do you check your daily astrology to give yourself a boost, get a little validation about what you are feeling that day? Do you like tarot readings and how you feel afterwards? You respond to this because you do hunger for more. More magic, more understanding, more control. You are DONE with “just”. You are ready for “more.”

I’m not going to dumb down what I’m offering. I’m not going to make it more palatable. I’m not going to “simmer down.” That’s what women are always told! It’s time to get into it, get active, TURN IT UP. I’m being my full, true self to model how it’s done because, more than anything, I want YOU to be your full, true self. This world needs you showing up like that.

I present this way of being like I do, because you can make these tiny adjustments in how you approach a hot flash, for instance, and see huge effects in yourself. Those effects will ripple out into how you work, how you interact with people, how you move through your days. You’ll start leveling up, like a character in a role playing game. You’ll earn more skills, get more resources.

I’ve lived this. Moving through daily life from this point of “I’m in control with what I’m building and I’m going to have fun with it” has transformed my life. I take myself less seriously and therefore allow myself to take more chances. I experiment, experience, even let myself fail. And I’m excited I did, because I figured something out, unlocked a new level in the game, and it all leads me to the next exciting thing to try.

That’s why RPGs and video games are so popular (hello! Stardew Valley is amazing!). You get to see how your character progresses and get those dopamine hits that get you so excited and coming back from more. I’m saying, you don’t have to escape into a game to feel this kind of fun and power. You can do it in your own life.

You are going to say this is just too weird, too out there. What is the cost of pretending you don’t get it?

Well, it’s the cost of finally letting go of your fears, your self-imposed barriers and boundaries that hold you back and keep you comfortable. It’s the cost of admitting you are the one holding yourself back.

We get used to our ruts! The negative feelings, the gossiping, the blaming, begin to feel like old friends and we are happy to sit with them because it feels comfortable. It’s known. I get it! I’ve been there and lived that. You want to feel content, feel safe. Understandable. If you don’t try, you don’t have to deal with any of the uncomfortable feelings that come up if you don’t succeed. Fear keeps you from saying yes to something new. Something wild. Something fun. Something that will make you feel like a warrior woman in your own life, with more energy, more real joy, more purpose. And, in the end, more contentedness and more stability.

You understand the magic I’m offering. I know you do. You want this magic in your life. I know that, too. If you aren’t ready to make the leap, that’s valid. That’s you being your authentic self and I applaud that. There’s not just one way to take the reins. I’m not saying my way is the only way.

But, if you are reading what I’m offering and standing strong in “I just don’t understand this language she’s speaking” but you actually do “get it”…well, you are letting the fear take the wheel and you’re missing out on an amazing, adventure-filled ride of your life. YOUR life. Yours. You get to choose. You get to write your story. YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE. If that’s your only take away from this post, then I’m happy. That’s what I want for you.

If you want to experience a bit of the magic I’m offering, check out these Hot-Flash Cards. You’ll get 3 ways to work with hot flashes and 3 ways to feel like you’re the fierce woman I know you to be.

Stop settling for what you are being told about this time in your life. Rebel. Revolt. Yell out, “Says Who!”

Start trusting that deeper feeling that responds to this kind of magic. You’ll be happy you did. It’s that simple. Joy will follow.

I wish you MORE. Be well, warrior women. You are not alone.