The Fool’s Blog

First-draft thoughts on the road of empowerment.

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I always tried so hard to become the woman I wanted to be.
Nicolina Miller Nicolina Miller

I always tried so hard to become the woman I wanted to be.

The negative self-talk in those moments wasn’t great. I would feel like a loser because I was choosing safety and the need to feel comfortable over starting my day and choosing possibility. It always felt that stark.

Perimenopause exacerbated this dynamic to no end.

I would wake up BEFORE the alarm with that first hot flash of the day, feel alert and would think I could start my day. But the need to feel content and safe was overwhelming. I would lay there nestled in my comforter and anxiety would ramp up. Crazy, non sequitur anxiety. The doom and gloom just served to reinforce my need to stay still and quiet for as long as possible in my bed before I had to deal with things and manage people.

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Stop pretending.
Nicolina Miller Nicolina Miller

Stop pretending.

You are going to say this is just too weird, too out there. What is the cost of pretending you don’t get it?

Well, it’s the cost of finally letting go of your fears, your self-imposed barriers and boundaries that hold you back and keep you comfortable. It’s the cost of admitting you are the one holding yourself back.

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A Perimeno[PAUSE].
Nicolina Miller Nicolina Miller

A Perimeno[PAUSE].

Start by dipping your toes into the cool pool underneath the waterfall and soon your entire body will be immersed in the healing waters. Pure joy can be soaked up like a sponge when it manifests in this form

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