5-4-3-2-1
When it’s time to launch, it’s time to launch. You feel it in your bones. It’s a little like everything is ready to explode. Anaïs Nin knew it with her bloom needing desperately to blossom. Mel Robbins nailed it with the countdown tool. I read about it in the introduction to “Let Them” during a sneak peek of the book on Amazon. (I’m getting the book out of the library, that’s how I roll.) I don’t feel the need to also check out her first book that is titled the same as this blog post. That intro I read was enough. I know that she researched it, found some science back up and all that and I couldn’t care less about what that is. Something locked into place when I read how she used it that first time to get up and out of bed, got herself to do things she dreaded but needed to do. I know way too intimately the feeling of, “I’ll do that when I feel better”, and then feeling better never seems to come. I knew I would utilize that countdown whenever I felt the inertia of fear and anxiety and sadness pull me back into the covers and caverns of cozy I’ve etched out for myself over the years.
I loved reading how Robbins overcame her imposter syndrome and trusted her experience and her voice. We could use more of that. More confidence, more trust in oneself. More reliance on gut intuition and “knowing.” I am fueled to keep going in my own direction. I believe in myself. I know what I know is real. I’m going one step further than Ms. Robbins—I am not going to back up what I know with evidence so that other’s are convinced to try anything I’m offering. If something locks into place when reading a hot-flash card tip, it will be used. If that gut intuition doesn’t flare up with knowing, then it won’t. Simple.
I believe training that gut intuition knowing is like building a muscle. It’ll get stronger and stronger with more flexing and experience. I think it would do a world of good to the world to begin this exercise regimen.
I was sitting here reading my book, sipping my coffee, and day-dreaming about writing this blog post. Imagining how I would rework my website. I saw myself sitting down to do it and feeling how wonderful it would be in my body to see it through. And then I was honest with myself and asked, “what exactly are you waiting for?” And I gave myself permission to jump in. Even if it wasn’t going to be perfect. I’m forcing myself to be spontaneous and not overthink or second guess what I’m doing. I’m trusting what I know to come forward and do it’s thing. More than I want to stay cozy in my day dream, I want to launch. So I did the countdown, opened my laptop and just started typing.
What’s amazing is the amount of energy required to sit and do this is way less than the amount of energy it was taking to sit and day dream and want it to be true. I’m remembering something in elementary school about potential and kinetic energy. That may be at play here? I’m sure Mel Robbins has figured out the science behind that. And I applaud her and I thank her. I’m so grateful for her for doing that work and putting this out there. I found it when I was ready to use it. I simply don’t need to read more about it. I trust her and it. I feel it’s right all the way down in my sacrum. I feel empowered. That empowerment is generating more power—I can feel it building. I know that the more I do this, exercise this muscle, trust this knowing, the inertia that has held me close to the ground, bound me up, will release its grip on me and I’ll be soaring.
I already feel lighter. A feeling of accomplishment is beginning to propel me up and forward. I can pat myself on my back, give myself flowers (thank you, Miley)—that’s the only acknowledgment I need. And that feels as good as anything else. Inward validation has more oomph to it than anything external. More oomph and more sustaining power to it.
I’ll need to countdown again, of that I’m absolutely certain. I can still see the fear of success, the resistance to trusting my experience and owning my voice swirling around me. But having named it also diminishes its hold. I want more the discomfort of trying to attain my dreams and having missteps along the way more than I want the discomfort of knowing I’m numbing myself from even trying.
I’m breaking out the notecard. I’m writing down this countdown to launch. I’m pinning it on my bulletin board. Another tool for my toolkit. I’m on my way.
